Divorce

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Of course it just might have to do with the fact that I filed for divorce just two weeks ago.

I remember so many things about divorce growing up. I remember the preacher teaching that divorce was wrong and that we should never, under any circumstances get divorced because that would make God angry.

I remember couples that got divorced and it was a gossip that they had "been divorced".

I remember finding out that my grandfather had been divorced before he married my grandmother! I felt like that was a deep dark hidden secret in our family. Imagine!

I remember having roommates after college. When we would move on to other roommates it felt like you were getting divorced. You had to decide who got what. I did end up with a really nice marble pastry board because a roommate didn't want to move with it across the country. And I got the ironing board because someone else didn't want it anymore. I did lose a few things that had wanted to keep. And it really was the ending of a very important relationship.

Then, my senior year in high school my own parents were divorced. That was a good thing though. I do know that my parent's divorce was biblical and it was better for everyone involved that happened.

But it got me thinking about divorce at that age, and I did a paper in college about what the Bible says about it. I studied (maybe for the first time!) and wrote what I felt was a very good paper. I went to a Christian college therefore everything was from a Biblical perspective.

My teacher was quite impressed as well. When we was handing out the papers he asked if I had read has thesis on divorce (I thought I was in trouble!). But I hadn't run across it in my research and therefore didn't read it. So I told him that I hadn't and he said that pretty much we had both come to the same conclusions on what the Bible says about divorce.

Ok....all of that to say, that the Bible does allow divorce in certain circumstances. And I feel that I have Biblical grounds to file for divorce. But I can't help but have regrets. I don't have any regrets over the roommates that I have moved on from over the years. But I have regrets over the husband that I am divorcing.

I know my own faults and know that I could have handled certain circumstances differently and can't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had. I miss him and the part of him that I fell in love with, and that brings certain doubts and fears.

I also have a part of me that knows I'm doing the right thing and that God is in these details. Therefore I'm confident in my actions. But I can't help but be sad. I can't help but wonder...

I got the b est love gift! Someone that knew I lost my watch gave me another one to replace it!!!! How fabulous?!?!?!?!

It is amazing that God takes care of us in small was that we don't expect.

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Losing things

When I was a kid my Grandma invited me to go to the horse races with her at the Fairgrounds. She was working a concession stand and therefore was busy. I was allowed to roam around and visit the vendors, go see the horses and enjoy myself.

Now, Dad had given me a $20 which in those days was a lot of money...and for me it was especially a lot of money! We didn't usually see that kind of money. Dad didn't give me any stipulations on how to spend the money, nor that he wanted it back if I didn't need to spend it.

I found the best silver ring! To this day I love silver rings and buy them all the time :o) But I spent that whole $20!!!!! When I got home Dad asked me where his money was and I told him that I bought the ring. He was mad, I could tell. But he didn't punish me or anything. I think he must have realized that he didn't give rules on the $20 when he gave it to me.

A couple of days later I was out playing by our swing set and lost the ring in the grass. I spent hours trying to find that ring. I never did.

Since that day I have been very careful to not lose anything. In fact, I have been mystified by lost and found and what you see there. I am also befuddled by the items that you see lying on the road that people have "lost". But today I just lost a watch that cost me $75. I am sick...sick, sick, sick!

First of all I didn't really have the money to spend on it...I should have saved the money to be used for something else, like bills!!! So the splurge was indeed a splurge!

Second, I don't lose things! I didn't hear it falling off my wrist, I didn't feel it falling or anything. So now I'm out the $75 and that bothers me too! Grrrrrr.....

Third, I'd only had it for about two weeks. I'm sick, sick, sick.

So I only got to enjoy the silver ring for a short time...now the watch has gone to join it in the cosmic black hole of lost things.

lianagrace

Have I mentioned that my feet hurt?

It's true. My feet hurt. I've embarked on a new journey in life. A new chapter if you will. I'm not sure I like it. I do in many ways. I'm good at it. I'm familiar with it. But, at my age I thought I'd be somewhere different.

I want to be somewhere different. I want to be doing something different. But, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. So therefore, my feet hurt.

I've tried many different shoes. I used to be able to wear big heels (not *high* heels....big heels) and be comfortable all day long on my feet. But now, I must wear comfy not pretty shoes.

So I'm on the look out for great comfy shoes.....but I don't want to give up cute either!!!! Am I hard to please or what!!! LOL

If you know of any great shoes that you can wear for long periods of time that won't kill your feet pass that information on to me! I need it!

Thanks again and I'll pass any information on to you that will help in your feet issues

lianagrace